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Season 1 Plot

300 years ago, Captain LaPoutine and his crew, Armando, Burt, Booli and Spewey tried to steal a princess' tiara, but unfortunately they accidentally stole Poseidon's underwear instead. This angered Poseidon and made him shrink the pirates and imprison them in a bottle. In the present day, The pirates were accidentally released by his younger son, Newt. So Newt decided to take control of the pirates and go on adventures with them.

Pirate Express Season 1 aired on April 26th, 2015.

Watch 'Pirate Express' Season 1 Online

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Season 1 Episodes

1. Poseidon or Bust/Finders Keepers

April 26th, 2015

Newt and the Pirates must deliver a shiny new statue of Poseidon to its grand unveiling party. / The Pirates embark on a mission to return a wallet to an angry Cyclops.

2. Little Miss Swordshine/Ship Wretched

April 26th, 2015

LaPoutine's great-great-great-great granddaughter turns up claiming ownership of the Pirate Express. / The Pirates split into two rival parties in a search for treasure.

3. Turkey Leg of Doom/Hair of the God

April 26th, 2015

When looking for a giant hairball, Booli ends up taking a mind controlling Turkey Leg

4. Enter the Octogod/Dead Men Wear Plaid

April 26th, 2015

Newt and the Crew have to rescue Gordon from octopus worshipping natives. / LaPoutine challenges his rival Captain Skulldidgery to winner-takes-ship race to the edge of the world.

5. Bilge Rat Zombies/Ghost of Ships Passed

April 26th, 2015

On the eve of an inspection, Newt and the Crew discover they have rats on board. / Newt pretends to be a ghost to haunt LaPoutine.

6. Night of the Geminis/Ships and Salsa

April 26th, 2015

Newt and the Crew ferry Ted the Cyclops and his brutish twin daughters to Poseidon's party. / Armando has a crisis of confidence when he gets a pimple.

7. All A Bored/Club Fed

April 26th, 2015

Newt and the Crew are stranded when the god of wind takes a holiday. / Newt and the Pirates must recover Poseidon's lost pet Leviathan from a beach resort.

8. White Wedding/Saltiest Dogs

April 16th, 2015

Armando ruins the wedding of Newt's brother when he steals the bride's heart. / Newt and the Crew compete in a pirate reality TV game show.

9. Shrieking Violet/Starboard Struck

April 26th, 2015

Zeus's spoiled daughter decides she wants LaPoutine as her new pet / Renowned actor Johnnie Bermuda joins the Crew to prepare for his upcoming role.

10. Get Kraken/Grill of My Dreams

April 26th, 2015

Newt and the Crew fight over an adorable baby orphan kraken. / Newt regrets firing Booli but struggles to get him back after Poseidon hires him as his new chef.

11. Penguin Law/Shop 'til You Drop Anchor

April 26th, 2015

Spewey faces off with his childhood nemesis to determine the future Emperor of the Penguins. / Newt takes the Crew gift shopping for the first time in 300 years.

12. Opposites Ahoy/Udder Chaos

April 27th, 2015

Newt is transported into an opposite world whilst his opposite arrives in Atlantis. / Newt and the Crew must replace Poseidon's magical bath milk or he will become powerless!

13. Out of Key/Thumb Wars

April 27th, 2015

Davy Jones pursues Newt and the Crew to get back his stolen locker key. / Newt and the Crew rescue Burt after a dragon captures him to use as his thumb.

14. One Flew Over the Crow's Nest/Game On

April 27th, 2015

LaPoutine's elaborate ruse to reclaim an old treasure gets him stuck in the Pirate Hospital. / Newt and the Pirates are pitted against Zeus' terrifying beasts at a Gods sports day.

15. Licence to Thrill/Beast in Show

April 28th, 2015

Newt has to pass his "drivers" test or risk losing control of the Pirate Express. / Newt and the Pirates are sent to retrieve a part-seahorse part-unicorn to help Poseidon win a "Beast in Show" competition.

16. Fine Feathered Fiend/Lumber Jerk

April 28th, 2015

Spewey is pushed out of the crew by LaPoutine's new pet parrot. / Newt and the Pirates rescue a wooden boy who then tries to steal their masthead Nelly.

17. Father Time/Manure Overload

April 28th, 2015

LaPoutine steals the God of Time's time travelling scythe in order to change history and the captaincy of the Pirate Express. / Newt and the pirates seek a cure for Armando after the monstrous Medusa turns him to stone.

18. No Sea for Old Salts/Sealed Fate

April 29th, 2015

Newt hooks up with some famous bad boy celebrity pirates and the Pirate Express crew are left out. / Newt and the Crew set out to rescue Marie-Celeste from the evil clutches of Skulldidgery.

19. Blunder Down Under/Engaged in Battle

April 29th, 2015

Newt and the Pirates pose as plumbers to rescue Spewey from the Underworld. / Newt turns matchmaker when Burt reveals he thinks he has a crush on a mermaid.

20. Beggars Can't Be Cruisers/Voyage of the Edam-ed

April 29th, 2015

The Pirates start a pirate cruise holiday experience in order to loot their guests. / Newt and the Crew get trapped on the cursed Flying Dutchman ship.

21. Greeced Lightning/The Godd Couple

April 30th, 2015

Newt and LaPoutine accidentally swap bodies after being struck by Zeus' lightening bolts right before family portrait day. / Newt and the Crew are forced to babysit Hades' giant three-headed guard-dog Cerberus.

22. Gordon's Fish Tale/Love on the Rocks

April 30th, 2015

Newt and the Crew help Gordon maintain the ruse that he is King of the Oceans when his mother comes to visit. / Newt tries to help his Poseidon's flagging pop career but Davey Jones has other ideas.

23. Malaise of the One Eye/The Future Is Now

April 30th, 2015

Newt and the Crew break Poseidon's trident and make a deal with his enemy, the Cyclops, to fix it. / The Pirates are duped into buying a 'magic' spyglass that they believe foresees their future.

24. Booty Camp/Put Another Captain's Log on the Fire

April 27th, 2015

Poseidon thinks Newt needs to toughen up so sends him to a bootcamp run by Ares, the God of War. / Newt is about to be appointed the permanent captain of the Pirate Express, but his Crew have other ideas.

25. Booty Nights/Fountain of Misspent Youth

April 28th, 2015

Newt and the Pirates are framed and sent to jail for a robbery they didn't commit. / The Pirates become babies after falling into the fountain of youth.

26. Jungle Booty Part 1/Jungle Booty Part 2

April 29th, 2015

Newt and the Crew embark on a mission to find Eldorado, the long lost city of gold. / Newt and the Crew save Eldorado from Skulldidgery and his thieving band of skeletons!