Late Show with David Letterman Season 14: Episode Guide & Ratings

Travis Pastrana - Andy Kidler - Baby Gramps

Dave toys around with the new product from Apple Computers, the "I-Stinguisher"; a man in pajamas and a bathrobe asks Dave where he would find some coffee; writer Jeff Bredenberg promotes his book "Five Little Fixes"; The Roots perform "Here I Come."

In honor of the show's 13th anniversary, an intern accidentally walks onstage to ask Dave to sign his own greeting card; live from Tracy, California, Ron Patrick drives around in a silver 2000 Volkwagen Bug with a 1,450-horsepower jet engine; Dave tries to interpret Snoop Dogg's "dizzle"-speak; OK Go performed "Here It Goes Again."

Tony visits The Hamptons, where he complains about traffic; recently embarassed CNN anchor Kyra Phillips presents the Top Ten; 5,000 tennis balls are dropped onstage; Opie & Anthony promote their radio show.

Johnny Dark measures Dave's inseam, much to his chagrin; while promoting "Ventriloquist Week" for the umpteenth time, Dave argues with his very own dummy; to mark the end of summer, four stagehands help explode beach balls on 53rd Street, then pour 300 gallons of sunblock off the roof.

Day 1 of Ventriloquist Week with Willie Tyler & Lester, plus Dr. Phil and "Survivor" castoff Sekou Bunch!

Ventriloquist Week, Day 2: Jay Johnson jokes about evolution while his primate friend Darwin sings "Send in the Clowns" in his "native" tongue; a safe is thrown out an 8th floor window onto a 1996 Buick LeSabre; Kasabian performed "Empire."

Day 3 of Ventriloquist Week with Ronn Lucas & Scorch, plus Marg Helgenberger and Diana Krall!

Day 4 of Ventriloquist Week with Jeff Dunham & Walter. Plus, Ted Turner and Fergie!

Ventriloquist Week, Day 5: Todd Oliver has a conversation with his talking dog, Irving; Dave and Lebron James shoot baskets on 53rd Street; Ludacris performed "Money Maker."

Throughout the night, several Late Show interns learn how to parallel-park; Dave looks into "A Day in the Life of Hugo Chavez"; Ray Liotta discusses meeting his biological family for the first time; Tony Bennett and Elvis Costello performed "Are You Havin' Any Fun Yet?"

Ten-year-old "lizard charmer" Lily Capehart puts her amphibian pets in doll costumes; Billy Bob Thornton promotes "The School for Scoundrels"; Sean Lennon performed "Wait For Me."

Tonights guests include Amanda Peet, Nigella Lawson and Bob Seger.

Hartford-based meterologist Scot Haney interrupts Dave with a teaser for his five-day forecast; Tony crudely illustrates how North Korea's recent nuclear test will affect the US; Robin Williams discusses rehab and promotes "Man of the Year"; Sam Moore and Wynonna Judd perform "I Can't Stand the Rain."

Tonights guests Tom Arnold, Brian Regan, Strongman Stan Drucker and "Survivor" castaways CaoBoi and Cristina Coria.

Tourist "Todd Volk" plays "Find the Pumpkin" at Hello Deli; ESPN Radio's "Mikes in the Morning" discuss Terrell Owens; The Killers perform "When You Were Young."

Tonights guests include Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jay Thomas and John Legend.

Dave shows off new photos of Harry; Dave Dorsett leaves his station to goof around with a sock puppet; Dave and Bill O'Reilly have another heated discussion about current events; Tilly and the Wall (making their network television debut) performed "Bad Education."

Borat, Beck and Tiki Barber, plus a Top Ten from Jerry Springer!

Tonights guests include Rachel Weisz, David Rakoff and Morningwood.

Dave plugs the upcoming Ball State-Michigan football game and promises to give a nickel to everyone that attends the game; Dave reads a letter from a fan pertaining to staff hostility; Joanne Carson (Johnny's second wife) discusses her collection of Truman Capote memorabilia.

Tonights guests include Rosie O'Donnell and Lady Sovereign.

Martin Short performs a song-and-dance number about the internet's role in his sexless marriage; country singer/novelist/gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman lays down his agenda for the state of Texas.

Britney Spears drops by looking for Will Ferrell; at the end of his interview, Will ad-libs through a selection from "Phantom of the Opera"; Jack Hanna introduces Dave to Fluffy the python, the largest-known snake in captivity.

Outgoing Defense Secretary "Donald Rumsfeld" (Gerard) fields questions from the audience; Jamie Oliver makes sausage carbonara; the Metropolitan Opera performs a selection from the upcoming production of "Il Barbiere di Siviglia."

Live via satellite, Biff walks through a six-acre corn maze in Livermore, California. By the end of the show, Dave asks him if he's scared, prompting Biff to snap back, "It takes a lot more than this to scare me, man."

Day 1 of Impressionist Week with Rich Little! Also, Robin Williams and George Jones!

Impressionist Week, Day 2: Frank Travalena closes his set by mimicing every president from Kennedy to Dubya. Also, Tenacious D (Jack Black and Kyle Gass) promote their new movie and perform "The Pick of Destiny" with the CBS Orchestra.

Tonights guests include Jerry Seinfeld and Dan Patrick. Plus, a public apology from Jerry's former co-star Michael Richards.

Tonight's "Rejected FDA Products" include Hebrew National Bacon, Frozen Mayonnaise Bars (which Dave tastes), and OJ Simpson's "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, But If I Did Believe It Was Butter, Here's How I Did It." Later, Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan promote their new paranormal documentary program, "Ghost Squad."

Tonights guests include Matthew Broderick and Lupe Fiasco and Jill Scott. Plus, Stupid Pet Tricks!

Dave shows footage of the staff Thanksgiving dinner, which includes a drunk Biff telling off Dave and a turkey carver severing his hand; Dave correctly guesses that his mother made pumpkin pie but flubs on the next dessert (he said pecan, it was apple); John Mayer performs "I'm Gonna Find Another You."

A giant goat knocks over the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree; Andy Kindler visits the US Marshals Training Academy in Georgia; in his first Late Show appearance in six years, Richard Simmons introduces a food steamer he invented (which blows up in his face); Ciara performs "Promise."

Tonights guests include Jennifer Connelly, Tom Dreesen and Shiny Toy Guns.

Teen duct tape expert William Beacom shows off his sticky creations; Silversun Pickups performed "Lazy Eye."

Tonight at Hello Deli, Dave and Rupert dare a (alleged) SUNY student from Queens to eat a Taco Bell chalupa; Howard Stern walks onstage in a Father Christmas outfit, giving out free Sirius radios to the audience; Gwen Stefani performs "Wind It Up."

Tonights guests include Regis Philbin and Robert Randolph, plus Lee Marek's Kid Scientists!

An irate staffer gives Dave a holiday-themed "f*** you"; "Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton" (Gerard) fields questions from the audience; Will Smith promotes The Pursuit of Happyness and discusses attending the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes wedding.

Tonight's guests include Clint Eastwood and Matthew Fox are the scheduled guests.

Tonight's guests include Ben Stiller, John Madden and Rodrigo y Gabriela.

Tonight's guests include Beyonce Knowles, Marv Albert and The Dears.

A Yule Log is set up in front of Dave's desk, and later Dave and Renee Zellweger pose Christmas-photo style next to the green screen; Dave acknowledges Dave Dorsett's 41 years at CBS by giving him a tie; Shannon Eis' new holiday toys includes Butterscotch, an expensive animatronic pony that allegedly responds to touch but doesn't cooperate onstage; Taking Back Sunday performed "Liar (It Takes One To Know One)."

Tom Brokaw and Cold War Kids are the scheduled guests.

Cate Blanchett and Darlene Love are tonight's guests. Plus, Jay Thomas and the 9th Annual Christmas Tree Football Toss!

A woman from Chicago plays "Name That Smell" at Hello Deli; after vilifying Commonwealth Edison, Alan gets beaten up by one of their employees; Ben E. King performs "Stand By Me."

Tonight's guests are Peter O'Toole and Marc Maron, plus a Top Ten from baseball legends Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn!

Videotape operator Tom Catusi apologizes for making a cheap shot at Mark McGwire; Madonna discusses her controversial adoption of a Malawian baby; Dave puts on a raincoat and promotes Gordon's Fish Sticks; The Hold Steady performs "Stuck Between Ready."

A Late Show Fun Fact: the actual Godzilla was only seven feet tall and was killed by Japanese soldiers within minutes; John Witherspoon describes a recent incident involving smoking a marijuana cigarette; Josh Ritter performed "Girl in the War."

Dave acknowledges the 7th anniversary of his quintuple-bypass with a clip from "Sanford & Son"; magician Jason Randal wows Dave with a few more of his trademark card tricks; '70s soft-rockers America (featuring Ryan Adams and Ben Kweller) performed 'Ride On.'

Paul Newman, Sebastian Bourdais, and Diana Ross are the scheduled guests.

Tina Fey discusses the Golden Globes and explains why she hates Los Angeles; escape artist "Donnie Glenn" balks at being sealed in a milk can filled with water; Terri & Bindi Irwin (the widow and daughter of Steve Irwin) promote Australia Week 2007.

Dave promotes the new, improved Late Show web site; "El Nino" (Gerard) drops by to take a bow; Vera Farmiga promotes "Breaking and Entering"; Mat Kearney performs "Nothing Left to Lose."

Dave comments on this winter's damaged citrus crop by opening a carton of "Tropicana Just Rind"; Tricia Helfer of "Battlestar Galactica" fame promotes her upcoming Playboy pictorial; seven pounds of marzipan are thrown into the "Will It Float" tank (it sinks).

Ricky Gervais, Forest Whittaker, and The Shins are the scheduled guests.

The Cat Empire

Dave reminisces about his teen years and shares an antedote about a ruined fur coat; Charles Grodin promotes his one-minute commentaries on CBS Radio and shows off some of his horse photography.

Dave admits that he's never participated nor believes in Daylight Savings Time; Chris Rock promotes "I Think I Love My Wife"; Amy Winehouse performed "You Know I'm No Good."

Jeff Goldblum, Barbara McQueen

Bernie Mac, Paula Abdul, Joss Stone

Fill-in host Adam Sandler (with assistance from his dog, Matzoball II) welcomes Don Cheadle, Danica Patrick, and Todd Barry as his guests. Lucinda Williams performs "Are You Alright?"

Tonight's "Great Moments in Presidental Speeches" clip is doctored to include Sue Hum using a lint brush on JFK's right arm; Duke University post-grad John Cornwell demonstrates his new invention, the beer-launching refrigerator; Jack Black shares an antedote about meeting Jack Nicholson; CBS chief foriegn correspondent Lara Logan discusses reporting from war zones in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Will Ferrell, Kings of Leon, Rachel Smith

Kelly Ripa, Simon Pegg, and Jim Short are the scheduled guests.

Top Ten list presented by Sanjaya Malakar

Steve Martin dominates the show, as he interrupts Dave twice, gets a lapdance from a male stripper, plugs his new book, and performs "The Crow" with banjoists Tony Trischka and Bela Fleck. Also, David Cota and his parakeet AJ perform a few tricks for Dave.

Day 1 of "Impressionist Week 2" with Rob Magnotti. Kirsten Dunst and Dinosaur Jr. are the scheduled guests.

Day 5 of "Impressionist Week 2" with Reggie Reg. Ray Romano and Dennis Haysbert are the scheduled guests.

Dr. Phil McGraw and Jack Hanna are the scheduled guests.

Don Rickles, Michael Imperioli, and Wilco are the scheduled guests. Plus, a special Top Ten from Masi Oka!

Ricky Gervais, Mary Lynn Rajskub, and Mavis Staples are the scheduled guests. Plus, a Top Ten by Bob Barker!

Top Ten List presented by Homer Simpson

Matt Damon, Jeff Altman, and Angelique Kidjo are the scheduled guests.