This week's episode of "Revenge" was amazing for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to the fact that David now has a scruffy goatee (good god no), Victoria's found herself a new enemy, and –– most importantly –– Kim Richards guest starred. That's the Kim Richards, everyone's favorite turtle-obsessed reality star from "Real Housewives of Beverley Hills." We are not worthy. Of course there are plenty of other story lines from the episode that we can't wait to sink our teeth into, so check out our recap of "Revenge" right here, right now.

Emily Helps Unlock Louise's Memory, Remains Revengey While Doing So

Important news: Nolan is now a married man. Yep, this jaunty fellow tied the knot with Louise Ellis, and you know what that means: time to throw a party. Louise and Nolan might not be in love, but they love the idea of mixing business and pleasure at Emily's mansion with a giant reception. The problem? Louise's mom, Penelope Ellis, recently dropped the bomb that Louise murdered her father, and she's willing to release the police report if her daughter doesn't play ball. Said report states that Louise pushed her dad to his death at the age of thirteen, but she has no memory of the event, which brings us to Emily. This full time revenger / part-time socialite hacks into Louise's brain by threatening to stab her hand with a dagger (just go with it), and after a few near-misses Louise has a slightly confusing flashback to her father falling.

Thanks to the alarming trip down memory lane, Louise assumes she killed here pop and flees her wedding reception, leaving Emily no choice but to change into a terrible polyester suit and chase her down at a psychiatric facility. While there, Em tells Louise that her mother forged the police report, and that the real report proves her innocent. Phew, what a load off. Also, can we all agree that Louise has the worst family ever?

Victoria Makes A New Enemy, Kim Richards Slays

There's a new villain in The Hamptons! Please give a warm welcome (and a freshly toasted lobster roll) to Natalie Waters, a sinister new socialite who has one mission: to make Victoria's life miserable. We know what you're thinking –– between her husband being shivved to death, her lover trying to murder her, and her son being shot multiple times, Victoria deserves a break. But it's time for this matriarch to reclaim her spot as the HBIC.

Victoria and Natalie come head-to-head at a brunch for the foundation Victoria's starting in Daniel's honor (it's for the children, everyone), and Natalie makes it clear that she's vying for Victoria's throne. But don't worry –– when Natalie tries to prevent Victoria's friends (including Kim Richards, bless) from donating funds, Victoria goes full throttle revengey and threatens to expose all their secrets. In other words, she's back!

Margaux Gets Revenge, Ben Flirts with Emily, and Jack Remains Incredibly Emo

Last week, Margaux LeMarchal hired a private investigator to dig up evidence against Emily (we blame the hormones). This week, Emily finds out about Margaux's plan when the tabloids publish photos of herself and David, and imply that they're romantically involved (annnd there goes lunch). Yep, Margaux seems dead set taking Em down, but will she succeed? Keep reading. For now, let's talk about Officer Ben. This stand up citizen is super obsessed with Emily, and (despite our warnings) it seems like Emily's returning the favor. In fact, she even asks Ben for advice about whether to morph back into Amanda Clarke, to which he replies "examine your subconscious." Deep.

As if that's not upsetting enough, Ben and Jack are presented with medals of honor for being such wonderful cops (has no one on the police force been watching this show?), which prompts Jack to have a full blown emotional breakdown. Basically, he quits the force (what will the people of Montauk do without him?), dabbles in bartending while at Nolan's party, and then tells Margaux all about his feelings in what can only be described as a bonding session.

So, what else happens at this soiree? So many things. Not only does Emily decide to keep her fake identity, she kisses Ben while Jack watches with tears in his eyes. Plus, Victoria gets a mysterious call saying that there's been a death in the family (the horror!), and –– most importantly –– Louise accuses her mom of cheating on and murdering her dad! All in all, a great episode with happy endings for mostly everyone...except Jack. You see, Margaux does find evidence against Emily...and it definitely involves The Artist Formerly Known As PoPo Porter killing an FBI agent.

Burning Questions:

1. Which of Victoria's family members died? There aren't that many left, but it better not be Charlotte...
2. Will Margaux use her evidence against Emily even though it implicates Jack?
3. Are Emily and Ben dating or is this just casual? Praying for the former due to non-negotiable "Team Jack" affiliations.
4. Now that Louise's plot has wrapped up, will she stay on the show?
5. Who is this Natalie character, and how will she fit into the rest of the season?