Batman's 12 Worst Decisions in Movies
Batman may be the hero we need and deserve, but he's not above the epic fail. In honor of "Batman Forever's" 20th anniversary, here are 12 of the Dark Knight's biggest face palms from his first four films.
1. 'Who Let Vikki Vale into the Batcave?'
Bruce Wayne thought it was a good idea to keep Alfred, the one he trusts with his dual identities, on the payroll after he let Vikki Vale into his top-secret lair. He pointedly references the incident in “Batman Returns,” but mostly let Alfred off the hook. At least punish him with hourly listenings of Prince’s “Partyman.”
2. The Batwing's Targeting System
Batwing vs. Joker. Who wins? Joker. He doesn’t even walk out with so much as a hangnail. How the airship -- armed with missiles and lasers -- can zero-in on Joker’s throat and miss proves that Batman must power his toys with Windows Vista.
3. Excessive Bat Signal Usage
Fastest way to lose the whole “keep my dual identity a secret” thing? Have a series of Bat Symbols shine directly into your parlor room, a la "Batman Returns." I mean, what if he had guests over?
4. Batman Straight-Up Murders a Dude. Twice.
Batman’s not supposed to kill. It’s kinda his ethos. But Tim Burton must have missed that memo in "Returns," when he let Bats turn one member of the Red Triangle gang into human BBQ (pictured) and let another go all explode-y.
5. DJ DarKnight
The only thing worse than the cold soup Alfred serves in "Batman Returns" is when Bruce Wayne (street name “B-Dubs”) decides to spin a CD of The Penguin’s greatest (and most incriminating) hits. He scratches a CD like its vinyl. Noooope.
6. Batman Forgets Why He's Batman
In "Batman Forever," Bruce Wayne/Batman’s whole arc centers on him needing Chase Meridian and a weird dreamcatcher thing to remind him why he dresses up as a Bat. Because a guy who watched his parents get gunned down and then devoted the rest of his life to avenging them would need a refresher as to why he dons a cape and cowl every night.
7. That Batmobile
No, Bruce. Chicks don’t dig the car. Especially one with a flapping tail wing.
8. Bat Nipples
/forehead desk forehead desk forehead desk
9. Bat Ice Skates
What’s worse than pulling a Fred Flintstone and sliding down a museum dinosaur’s neck? Ending it with the clicking of heels and the deployment of ice skates. Stay classy, "Batman & Robin."
10. Another New Batmobile
Yeah, because it’s a good idea to fight crime with your cockpit lacking a canopy to protect you from bullets and stuff. And it’s even better to go out at night with a car powered by a candy-cane engine and enough neon to make the "Fast & Furious” films say “hey, turn it down.”
11. Employing Someone With MacGregor’s Syndrome
In "Batman & Robin," Alfred suffers from this fictional disease. The insurance rates are high enough as it is when employing a septuagenarian as your personal assistant. But one suffering from MGS?! It’s just not good business to keep this wrinkled “Outbreak” monkey on staff.
12. 'Batman & Robin'
In the immortal words of Liz Lemon: "SHUT IT DOWN!"