Java

Java (born 1974 B.C. as J Mummy Love) is a lover not a fighter, and despite being dead, he has insatiable urge to get down. In fact, it is rumored that he was not found buried alone, but rather awkwardly intertwined amongst a harem. To regulate Java's libido, the other mummies have resorted to keeping a George Bush doll in his pants at all times.